It has been a long week with frustration, procrastination and achievement in so many areas. My alter ego paid work has been very stressful but it looks like this is slowly improving.
The biggest frustration has been my lack of decision making about the background colour for the original scrolls I need to be finished by the end of the month. Whether it be in decision making or its ability to compound the fear of failure, lack of confidence is possibly the most destructive force in my life. I have been struggling with this over the past 8 months due to ongoing paid work stress.
During this time, my photography has provided instant satisfaction on the days where I needed the knowledge and psychological sense of completion. Creating is something I often fall back on when I am feeling anxious. It provides an outlet that gives a more immediate result and taps my artistic brain. It is here that I usually have the most confidence.
I have struggled with a mini writers' block this week. I am in the middle of writing two short stories. I have completed the first draft of one and discovered that I have another 1000 words to play with. While it is complete as is, it could do with some more meat on its bones! The other story was mentioned earlier this week. I am on my third draft of that segue into the new scene. The words have refused to play nicely. At least, I have been able to flesh out the form and plot of the story so, when the words do behave, I know what I am aiming for.
There has been some success in the writing field however. Several months ago, I wrote a children's picture book story (minus the pictures so far) called If I Were a Dragon. Today, I managed to compose enough confidence, gaining the strength to enter it into a Writer's Festival competition specifically for Picture book manuscripts. Wish me luck!
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