Over the past few years, I have hinted at some of the ‘real life’ issues I have been facing. One of them has been extreme work-place stress, leading to anxiety. This had been bubbling up for a few years and escalated in late 2012. The final straw was the attack of a security guard in front of my workplace. I had time off with extreme anxiety and spent the next (almost) two years clawing my way back.
The past few months have been… well, even more complicated. I felt like a rag-doll being pulled from every direction, just waiting to rip at the seams. Last week I quit my job of 17 years. I am now teetering on the edge of deciding whether to make a break from a 28 year career. You could say they won. You could say I snapped. I say I saved myself from a downward spiral.
For the next three months, I am throwing myself into full time writing. My goal is to clear my head of past anxieties, improve my health and rid myself of this ongoing, acute back pain that has plagued me over the past several months.
It is a scary concept – no day job, full-time creating and a lot of future hard work – research, rewrites, edits. Writing has always been cathartic for me; I don’t see why my current situation should change that.
It seems NaNoWriMo has come at a very opportune time. I may not make the 50,000 word goal but I will forge ahead with my current manuscript, The Department of Curiosities, and learn to enjoy life once more.
NaNoWriMo word count. Day 5:
Total Words- first draft:
Of Life, Health and Writing.
Wow. I'd say that you've definitely won the struggle: You've freed yourself from something that was clearly not healthy. And how scary, but exhilirating, it must be, to be able to focus on what you know you enjoy doing and what you appear to be good at.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Thank you! It has been a scary decision but such relief also. I have smiled more in the last week than I have over the past year.
ReplyDelete